One of my favourite topics is Relationships and understanding how they work or in some cases don’t work, this could be the main reason why I am inspired to assist my clients with theirs! Relationships in the dictionary are defined as “a state of connectedness between people”, sounds pretty lovely doesn’t it, yet from my experiences the majority of challengers most of us face in our lives seem to revolve around relationships, what do you think?
Think about all the times you’ve had conversations with friends, or even internally with yourself, around current relationships, ex relationships, future relationships, family relationships, work relationships or the fact that there is might not be any relationships that are currently valued! I’m sure you and I both would have to say there has been at least a few(hundred) that cover some or all of the above.
So what is it about relationships that really get us going? Now when I do talk about relationship I am talking about all of them from your best mate or intimate life partner to work colleagues, family members and friends, down to even the waiter at the local café, each and every person in your life constitutes some form of relationship in your world. So what is it really about relationships that gets our heart racing and switches our mind into over gear, sometimes even stopping us from doing the things we truly desire?
Well there really could be many, however one reason I believe is because as human we all have a desire, if not deep need, to love, connect, communicate and relate to other human beings and we are all motivated to some extent to share and develop relationships with others to meet these needs in our lives.
Then as human we really do like to complicate things which is where the fun part comes in and the challenges arise, mainly because every person in the world is different. We all have different thoughts, beliefs, values, rules, experiences and in a nut shell we all have our own way of looking out at the world and relating internally with ourselves. So often when people don’t understand themselves and the reasons behind their own actions and reactions this is when the challenges come to town and play out, in most cases, in the external relationships a person has with others.
So what I want to highlight today is what I believe to be the most important relationship a person can have, this relationship when worked on and nurtured is the type of relationship that eases the challenges in all other relationships, that sets the standards for all relationships and is the one you can always count on……… and if you haven’t guessed it yet this is the relationship you have with yourself!
So how would you describe the relationship you have with yourself? Calm, Safe, Wonderful, Rocky, Unstable, I don’t know, Depends on the day or situation, Don’t have one……. These are just a few ways I have heard people describe their relationship with themselves and in some cases this is the exact same way they describe their relationships with other people as well.
Just something to think about… My belief around this is that the more we understand ourselves – our motivations, our values, the reason we do the things we do, our drivers, etc, the more we can relate to ourselves and develop a stronger sense of who we really are. By doing this we can enhance the relationships we have in our lives and attract into our lives what we really want.
In the next few Blog post I am going to touch on a few ways of how you can take your most important relationship to the next level….. Until then enjoy this beautiful day and give some thought to the relationships in your life, Are they a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself?
What do you need to do to improve the relationships in your life?
Specialising inTransition Coaching – Relationships & Careers – Located in Richmond, Victoira